Shift

Words can hurt when they hide behind devices and screens. That’s why verbal communication is still sometimes preferred. But for some of us, the keystrokes are therapy through brave expression. It’s a risky opportunity to connect with people you may never meet, because they just get it.

Fellow blogger Brittany Morefield’s descriptions of anxiety and depression are brilliantly unfiltered. In a recent post titled “In Case You’re Still Wondering About Anxiety,” I learned that she too is often asked for advice on “getting through it.” Her response reminds me of why I started the journey. I also had to “learn to help myself first.”

The following piece was written many years ago. It’s words represent the first sign of hope that I was going to fight. I recently blew the dust off and would like to share:

Today I smiled at my face in the mirror

For the first time in years

I picked up the pieces of what was a future

Whose weight once brought me to tears

I’m trading in my mask for some new mascara

I’m letting go to put time on my hands

The fog is thick and coated with wonder

But, the clearing tells me I can

Shift into gear and drive out of this haze

Where demons dance on the roads of a maze

Where temptation dangles from every tree

And sin lives in shadows that no one can see

I wasn’t dizzy today when I lifted my head

So, I stretched to pat my own back

Reintroducing myself to myself

To forget how to run with the pack

My goals spread their wings because I’ve given them choices

So, I unite a need with a plan

While on my knees watching stained glass reflecting

I believe that I can

Shift into gear and drive out of this haze

Where demons dance on the roads of a maze

Where temptation dangles from every tree

And sin lives in shadows that no one can see

Shift into gear and drive out of this haze

The new air delivers her pleasures and praise

The truth doesn’t hurt because it wears a new face

And I breathe to fill my soul of this place

While I sing goodbye…

Thanks for reading. YOU are a treasure!

 

On Purpose

It’s encouraging to know that I am not alone when it comes to believing in the connection between appreciation and happiness. Recently, a friend shared with me an article titled “Gratitude and Appreciation: Why We Should Indulge Daily.” It was written by Yana Hoffman, C.D.C.C. and you can find it on psychologytoday.com. This is a really good read, especially for those of us who struggle with consistency.

In this traditional time of resolution making, let’s try harder together. You see, I also believe that a portion of our destiny is predetermined, but there is plenty of room for us to have an influence. I am not suggesting in-genuine or radical behavior, just a baby step in the form of five minutes to start.

Appreciation is too often an instinctive reaction instead of an on purpose one. For example, receiving a gift, compliment or favor, makes us feel good, but sometimes the “thank you” is automatic; said without thinking. This happens when the person in front of us holds the door open or the server gives our coffee a “warm up.”  On purpose appreciation is choosing not to ruin an innocent cashiers day because you disagree with a coupon policy.  Instead, breathe and decide whether or not you really need the item in your hand. I know, it seems easier to ask the cashier to not be effected, but what if he or she can’t help it?  I am not a professional, but I can definitely prove that methods such as the “get over it”one do not work for all people.

2017 was one of the best years of my life when it comes to events, circumstance and results of hard work. Yet, I still wake up almost each night with stomach pain caused by depressions poison. This is not an exaggeration. And some days, behind the smile, nothing wins the title of remedy. Not a vision of Cinderella’s castle. Not a random heart emoji from my husband. Not even the contagious riff of “New Orleans Is Sinking.”  Fond memories don’t work because the queen of darkness reminds me they are over. Things to look forward to will also eventually end so she wins once again. What’s left is the now.

In your “now,” try harder not to hurt feelings. Treasures don’t do that.

YOU are a Treasure!

 

The Right To Play Dress Up

For a couple of years, my best friend was a floppy, red-haired figure named Raggedy Ann. She loved me no matter what. I knew that because her heart told me so. One day, with the help of some fabric, yarn and a creative mom, I became her. I made those around me giggle and smile. I was “cute” instead of buck toothed and awkward. That was the very first Halloween I remember.

As years changed, so did the fads and costume changes. I have stayed true to my appreciation of the day that society says it’s OK to be something other than yourself. Though my children now have memories of embarrassment and questioning my sanity, I selfishly have no regrets. It felt good to step away from the roles of maid, chef, homework checker and nag.

The right to responsibly have fun and escape from routine once in a while has no age limit. I strongly suggest you exercise this right as another Halloween draws near.

To the princess: Let that sparkle make you feel like the beautiful person you are every day, but forget as chores and deadlines wear you down.

To the villain:  Here’s your chance to be the bad ass you sometimes wish you were. Be proud that respect and professionalism lead you to the right choices when things get tough.

To the superhero: Enjoy the cape and shield, but remember you don’t need them to fight sadness, worry, disrespect or any other emotional intruder.

And to you, no matter who you are or choose to be. Every day. Remember.

YOU are a treasure!