Your search for answers is exhausting and it’s also not the best use of your time. What exactly do you think will happen if satisfaction really is connected to the person or circumstance you blame? Will you stop crying for no reason? Will you stop overthinking? Will you stop craving physical pain with hope to escape the mind and body you despise? Probably not.
Blame is a band aid. If you want to heal for good, take responsibility. Get help. Turn your cheek to excuses and take time to educate yourself and others.
If someone you cared about were injured, would you deny them help? Would you make them feel bad for having unplanned, inconvenient needs? What if it were someone you never met? Would you roll your eyes as you held open a door?
Some trauma leaves wounds that will never be seen. Some trauma is not relieved by means of Motrin, a gauze pad or a cast. Those of us who battle mental illness are well aware of our traits. We know that we are oversensitive, controlling, and sometimes distant. We know that we are annoying.
But, while we are tying our own shoes, sometimes running marathons, we have pain. We need help. Sometimes that help is respecting boundaries. Sometimes that help is attention. Sometimes that help is compassion. Sometimes that help is motivation. Always, always…that help is knowledge and understanding.
Hey, you. I understand.
YOU are a treasure!
On a recent vacation, I stood in awe while watching a man do a hand stand on top of five stacked wooden chairs. What we sometimes take for granted while being entertained is the time and effort behind each performance. Did Beethoven come out of the womb playing a symphony? Of course not. Did the brave balancer succeed on his first attempt? I highly doubt it.
Remember this. One of life’s treasures is the ability to start over. A setback does not define you.
You read a great book because the author didn’t quit.
You danced to your favorite song because the artist didn’t quit.
You watched your favorite team win because the athlete didn’t quit.
The world is a better place because you didn’t quit.
Bald eagles and wheat pennies are proof that with rarity comes appreciation. Some may say that verbal communication can join the club. Why is it that conversation feels like a dying art while our voices still remain?
Severed words and animated emotions are here to stay. They were birthed by devices that have been keeping heads down at the dinner table for years. Back in the day, bonds were formed with utensil filled hands and sharing sessions. Expressions were read. Listening changed moods. The togetherness I’m referring to can be described in many ways; beautiful, limited, missed, forced.
We can’t fault our children for what they have resented or never known. Were you always the best company? Did other less important things disappoint a waiting better moment? I know I would turn back time if I could.
I also know that for twelve long years, my husband and I worked opposite shifts. Therefore, for twelve long years, a group text was our families virtual dinner table. Technology has turned spontaneity and frequency into treasures. Back in the day, we had no clue that we were being thought of because thoughts in their prime were lost in the lack of delivery. Before text messaging, the worried mother lost needed sleep. Morning spats lasted way longer than they needed to.
Don’t judge the electronically dependent world without prioritizing your own personal values and boundaries. Though I embrace differences, I pray there is one thing we can all agree with. There is no message or thought that is more important than a life. Do not ever, ever text and drive. But, if you’re not behind the wheel and need to compose some hurtful words, go ahead. Then, delete them without sending. Revenge is a misunderstood reaction. If you need a filter to make you feel pretty, then use one. Just know in your heart that you don’t need it.
Remember that a beautiful world surrounds you in the form of voices, paper and nature. Take advantage of them. If you love someone, pull out the earbuds and replace the podcast with a kind whisper. Send a heart emoji when distance challenges you. These simple pro active gestures have more power than you know.
YOU are a treasure!
Memories…the scrapbooks of our minds that can be opened at any time, by anyone or anything. Think about it. We all have that song…that one song that can instantly erase the moment at hand with a good feeling. Think about it. We all have that someone…that one person we haven’t seen physically in years, yet their image takes us time traveling to a place far beyond their recent Facebook post.
Memories hold everything from nostalgia to learned lessons. Some will never be worthy of a glue stick and expensive paper. But, is it possible to turn things we want to forget into opportunities for appreciation? What if instead of wishing for the re-do we focus on building integrity? What if we stopped letting poor decisions and unfortunate circumstances define who we are today? When we admit fault and ask for forgiveness, bravery strengthens our soul. When we decide to own our decisions, confidence strengthens our posture.
Memories… the best of the best bring with them a feeling that we desperately wish would last forever. But, they’re not called the good old days because we are living in the bad new days. Today, we can turn memories into milestones and continue to appreciate. Every moment is an opportunity to create the happiness we deserve.
If you miss the way you danced on your honeymoon, play the song and find your groove. If you miss someone that passed on, talk to them. And, if you miss holding your child’s hand, then grab it. You are in control.
YOU are a treasure!