Your search for answers is exhausting and it’s also not the best use of your time. What exactly do you think will happen if satisfaction really is connected to the person or circumstance you blame? Will you stop crying for no reason? Will you stop overthinking? Will you stop craving physical pain with hope to escape the mind and body you despise? Probably not.
Blame is a band aid. If you want to heal for good, take responsibility. Get help. Turn your cheek to excuses and take time to educate yourself and others.
If someone you cared about were injured, would you deny them help? Would you make them feel bad for having unplanned, inconvenient needs? What if it were someone you never met? Would you roll your eyes as you held open a door?
Some trauma leaves wounds that will never be seen. Some trauma is not relieved by means of Motrin, a gauze pad or a cast. Those of us who battle mental illness are well aware of our traits. We know that we are oversensitive, controlling, and sometimes distant. We know that we are annoying.
But, while we are tying our own shoes, sometimes running marathons, we have pain. We need help. Sometimes that help is respecting boundaries. Sometimes that help is attention. Sometimes that help is compassion. Sometimes that help is motivation. Always, always…that help is knowledge and understanding.
Hey, you. I understand.
YOU are a treasure!
On a recent vacation, I stood in awe while watching a man do a hand stand on top of five stacked wooden chairs. What we sometimes take for granted while being entertained is the time and effort behind each performance. Did Beethoven come out of the womb playing a symphony? Of course not. Did the brave balancer succeed on his first attempt? I highly doubt it.
Remember this. One of life’s treasures is the ability to start over. A setback does not define you.
You read a great book because the author didn’t quit.
You danced to your favorite song because the artist didn’t quit.
You watched your favorite team win because the athlete didn’t quit.
The world is a better place because you didn’t quit.
Bald eagles and wheat pennies are proof that with rarity comes appreciation. Some may say that verbal communication can join the club. Why is it that conversation feels like a dying art while our voices still remain?
Severed words and animated emotions are here to stay. They were birthed by devices that have been keeping heads down at the dinner table for years. Back in the day, bonds were formed with utensil filled hands and sharing sessions. Expressions were read. Listening changed moods. The togetherness I’m referring to can be described in many ways; beautiful, limited, missed, forced.
We can’t fault our children for what they have resented or never known. Were you always the best company? Did other less important things disappoint a waiting better moment? I know I would turn back time if I could.
I also know that for twelve long years, my husband and I worked opposite shifts. Therefore, for twelve long years, a group text was our families virtual dinner table. Technology has turned spontaneity and frequency into treasures. Back in the day, we had no clue that we were being thought of because thoughts in their prime were lost in the lack of delivery. Before text messaging, the worried mother lost needed sleep. Morning spats lasted way longer than they needed to.
Don’t judge the electronically dependent world without prioritizing your own personal values and boundaries. Though I embrace differences, I pray there is one thing we can all agree with. There is no message or thought that is more important than a life. Do not ever, ever text and drive. But, if you’re not behind the wheel and need to compose some hurtful words, go ahead. Then, delete them without sending. Revenge is a misunderstood reaction. If you need a filter to make you feel pretty, then use one. Just know in your heart that you don’t need it.
Remember that a beautiful world surrounds you in the form of voices, paper and nature. Take advantage of them. If you love someone, pull out the earbuds and replace the podcast with a kind whisper. Send a heart emoji when distance challenges you. These simple pro active gestures have more power than you know.
YOU are a treasure!
This summer began with my feet dangling from a tail gate counting head nods and peace signs. Let me set the record straight about us Deadheads. Some enhance. Some escape. Some do both. Now, let me set the record straight about everyone. Differences in choices or lifestyles are not reasons to be a jerk.
In junior high I was a member of the show choir. I did not try out for personal growth or to showcase a talent. I just wanted to be a part of something. You see, once upon a time acceptance was connected to adequacy. Once upon a time I allowed someone else to decide if I could sing and dance with others.
Oh, how time uncovers treasures in the form of mature perception and truth. Let me set the record straight about the self I’ve never understood more clearly. Today, the person accepting is me. I accept my words, my actions and my imperfections. I accept that some of my traits are a condition…not a personality. I accept the fact that not everyone gets it.
And now I dance on grass and not a stage. My audition requires nothing but a good mood and the choreography is easy…head nods and peace signs.
Dance with me, friends. YOU are a treasure!
Bitter sweet is an over used phrase that describes a moment a feeling sad and happy at the same time. This is double the work for the over thinker. I become living proof every time a teardrop follows dead flowers into the garbage can. And every time the predictable post vacation sadness kicks in.
I thought that clarity would stop the head spins. But this empty room’s memories of little heads in my lap are not fun to be with. In a minute though, when I stretch my legs and dominate the remote, the solitude won’t feel so bad. If walls could talk, I would be in the middle of a never ending dispute. One like peace while the other misses chaos. One likes cleanliness while the other misses fingerprints.
Like anything that is not good for you, unwanted thoughts are a bad habit. You know you shouldn’t do it, but you still do. Time has made it a part of you. And while you know you have a choice to stop, a twisted comfort doesn’t let you.
If you are afraid of change, you are not alone. Choices become repetitive when we realize that we like how they make us feel. In my case that’s vanilla over chocolate…drama over comedy…sweatpants over skirts. In my case it’s pinching a piece of skin to stop tears with a dam called pain. It’s better than being falsely accused of being unstable or under the influence.
In my case it’s working every single day on creating new and better habits. It’s praying for karma over plotting revenge. It’s dismissing over dwelling. It’s appreciating more. I asked a question in my very first post and I ask it again. Will you go treasure hunting with me? You don’t need a shovel, just a mirror.
YOU are a treasure!
When or how did you last say or think of the word crazy? Did it describe a situation, a thought, a person? Was it a circumstance that threatened your comfort zone? Was it someone who, Heaven forbid, didn’t think or act the way you thought they should?
Is crazy a mental status as described by our dictionaries? Or, is it an insensitive reaction to contrast? Crazy according to Sarah is allowing differences to weaken relationships that we want and need. The selfish will not understand this. Allow me to share some real life examples:
Parking lots make me nervous, so, I almost always get front door service while my husband walks alone. I have turned many perfect moments with him into unprepared therapy sessions. And, the poor guy will probably never see all of his bucket list destinations because I am afraid of…well…just about everything.
Do my “issues” make me unlikable or give me character? Is this selfless man crazy for putting up with me or am I crazy for letting him? Is he crazy because he can ignore clutter or am I crazy because I can’t?
If we allow differences to limit our interactions, we accept a risk of loss; loss of more knowledge, loss of more companionship and so on. My daughter puts ketchup on her eggs. I find that completely disgusting, yet she will always be one of my favorite people to be around.
Ask “why” more often. You may find that adventure lies ahead. You may find a reason to feel sorry for that person who treated you poorly. You may find a reason to love yourself more. You should because…
YOU are a treasure!
A letter to myself as the Holiday season begins…
When you spend so much time putting others first, it’s normal to feel exhausted and anxious this time of year. But, at the start of this journey, you made yourself a promise…a promise to create the happiness you deserve by making changes both big and small. Though it was not a perfect year, you made progress. May the following advice help bring internal peace and memories worth cherishing:
Don’t feel guilty that twinkling lights and sleigh bells aren’t enough. You are wired differently, but still a good person.
Leave the dust on the floor. You can create a beautiful environment in many other ways.
Serve the semi-burnt cookie. At least you tried.
Make a gift for someone and think about how much they mean to you the whole time.
Don’t make a wish list. It will distract you from what you already have, which is enough.
Put your change in the red bucket and be grateful you can afford to.
Be proud of what you celebrate and don’t be offended by differences.
Smile when it’s hard. There are many people spending this time alone.
Above all, never ever forget that YOU are a treasure.
With the most love I have ever had for you,
My friends, I need your help. It appears that Mr. Sandman is mad at me because I will no longer allow him to be an enabler. As I work on being an optimist, I am deciding to embrace each new day instead of wishing it was over. My pillow is a temporary comfort zone, not somewhere to bury my face.
I multi-task to the point of exhaustion, so the world at 3:00 am should be one I do not know. But, I know it too well. This world is quiet, it is lonely and it allows unnecessary worry to bleed through my walls.
Some say that when insomnia comes knocking, you should get up and make the most of your idle time. Unfortunately, for the distraction chaser, the dishes are already washed, the laundry is folded, the emails are answered. Most of you who can relate are probably anticipating plans that haven’t even happened yet. It is comforting to know that some of you also understand random and unexplained sadness.
Here is my commitment to you. I will count treasures instead of sheep, no matter how difficult that may be. In return, I ask you to do the same. Remember, the purpose of my words is to help us all make more time for happiness and appreciation, even if it happens to be in the middle of the night.
So, talk to me! Share with me the treasures you thought about to help escape from gloom. Share with me the positive thoughts that have helped you remember that….
YOU are a treasure!
In reality, very few figures of the past actually buried their treasure. The tales of these notorious buccaneers evolved into a fantasy that there are random riches underground where “X” marks the spot. My friends, by now you should expect what is coming next. A treasure is not just a box of riches, not just a bag of loot. A treasure is anything that has value to someone. Sometimes a treasure is obvious and sometimes, like the myth, a treasure needs to be discovered beneath the dirt, the rubble, the unpleasant.
Devastation can show up unannounced and wash away satisfaction, progress and hope. But beneath the fallen branches, there will still be roots. Beneath the crumbled structures, there will still be foundations. Beneath the worst of the wreckage, there will still be treasures. Some may be as short as a two second smile. Some may be as small as a brief distraction. The light of hope that shines with each “little treasure” carries a power that is truly massive.
With the help of others, rebuilding is not impossible. The pieces of your future weigh less when others help carry them. Do not ignore your ability to help someone find their treasure when the “X” is nowhere in sight. Unselfish, genuine care in a time of need has the power to change a life. When one gives this, it is not work.
YOU are a treasure!
Last week, a friend and co worker shared a quote that stayed with me longer than others have. It actually shaped the days that followed. By the end of the week, it had become a moral:
“Those who drink the water must remember those who dug the well.”
Celebrating another birthday left me pleasantly over quenched. Please do not allow the upcoming re cap to lead to misjudgment. I am not a bragger. I am not a hypocrite. I am not always happy. Each word I write I choose to share, but is ultimately meant for me as I strive to be happier.
The kick off was a visit from mom with expected gifts in hand. I am well aware that sounded selfish. You see, being an only child of a hard working single mother made me a self proclaimed receiver. I became the master of the guilt trip, making her absences only forgivable by means of toys and ice cream. I demanded and she accommodated. She just wanted me to be happy and each time she delivered, I certainly was.
Adolescence and adulthood turned the tables. Before we knew it, I was the one with the busy life. Discovering the beauty of true and unconditional relationships makes me wish I could take back some thoughts and actions of the past. My open heart and mature mind came together and put an end to the verbal demands. But mom never stopped listening.
This year, beneath the pink curly ribbon was a cutting board. I unwrapped the paper to find support of my healthy lifestyle. Mom never stops listening. Happy is the moment you receive. Happier is the moment you appreciate and you can appreciate any time you choose to.
As a spoiled child, not appreciating left me with nothing but bald barbie dolls and stomach aches. Thanks to my new attitude, each time I chop a vegetable, I will think of my mom. That, my friends is the extra that we all can bring into our lives. It is being happier.
YOU are a treasure!