It’s encouraging to know that I am not alone when it comes to believing in the connection between appreciation and happiness. Recently, a friend shared with me an article titled “Gratitude and Appreciation: Why We Should Indulge Daily.” It was written by Yana Hoffman, C.D.C.C. and you can find it on psychologytoday.com. This is a really good read, especially for those of us who struggle with consistency.
In this traditional time of resolution making, let’s try harder together. You see, I also believe that a portion of our destiny is predetermined, but there is plenty of room for us to have an influence. I am not suggesting in-genuine or radical behavior, just a baby step in the form of five minutes to start.
Appreciation is too often an instinctive reaction instead of an on purpose one. For example, receiving a gift, compliment or favor, makes us feel good, but sometimes the “thank you” is automatic; said without thinking. This happens when the person in front of us holds the door open or the server gives our coffee a “warm up.” On purpose appreciation is choosing not to ruin an innocent cashiers day because you disagree with a coupon policy. Instead, breathe and decide whether or not you really need the item in your hand. I know, it seems easier to ask the cashier to not be effected, but what if he or she can’t help it? I am not a professional, but I can definitely prove that methods such as the “get over it”one do not work for all people.
2017 was one of the best years of my life when it comes to events, circumstance and results of hard work. Yet, I still wake up almost each night with stomach pain caused by depressions poison. This is not an exaggeration. And some days, behind the smile, nothing wins the title of remedy. Not a vision of Cinderella’s castle. Not a random heart emoji from my husband. Not even the contagious riff of “New Orleans Is Sinking.” Fond memories don’t work because the queen of darkness reminds me they are over. Things to look forward to will also eventually end so she wins once again. What’s left is the now.
In your “now,” try harder not to hurt feelings. Treasures don’t do that.
YOU are a Treasure!
A letter to myself as the Holiday season begins…
When you spend so much time putting others first, it’s normal to feel exhausted and anxious this time of year. But, at the start of this journey, you made yourself a promise…a promise to create the happiness you deserve by making changes both big and small. Though it was not a perfect year, you made progress. May the following advice help bring internal peace and memories worth cherishing:
Don’t feel guilty that twinkling lights and sleigh bells aren’t enough. You are wired differently, but still a good person.
Leave the dust on the floor. You can create a beautiful environment in many other ways.
Serve the semi-burnt cookie. At least you tried.
Make a gift for someone and think about how much they mean to you the whole time.
Don’t make a wish list. It will distract you from what you already have, which is enough.
Put your change in the red bucket and be grateful you can afford to.
Be proud of what you celebrate and don’t be offended by differences.
Smile when it’s hard. There are many people spending this time alone.
Above all, never ever forget that YOU are a treasure.
With the most love I have ever had for you,
For a couple of years, my best friend was a floppy, red-haired figure named Raggedy Ann. She loved me no matter what. I knew that because her heart told me so. One day, with the help of some fabric, yarn and a creative mom, I became her. I made those around me giggle and smile. I was “cute” instead of buck toothed and awkward. That was the very first Halloween I remember.
As years changed, so did the fads and costume changes. I have stayed true to my appreciation of the day that society says it’s OK to be something other than yourself. Though my children now have memories of embarrassment and questioning my sanity, I selfishly have no regrets. It felt good to step away from the roles of maid, chef, homework checker and nag.
The right to responsibly have fun and escape from routine once in a while has no age limit. I strongly suggest you exercise this right as another Halloween draws near.
To the princess: Let that sparkle make you feel like the beautiful person you are every day, but forget as chores and deadlines wear you down.
To the villain: Here’s your chance to be the bad ass you sometimes wish you were. Be proud that respect and professionalism lead you to the right choices when things get tough.
To the superhero: Enjoy the cape and shield, but remember you don’t need them to fight sadness, worry, disrespect or any other emotional intruder.
And to you, no matter who you are or choose to be. Every day. Remember.
YOU are a treasure!
Based on a true story, today’s thought will open similarly to a joke, but end with a punchline in the form of a treasure:
A guy walks into a bar. He finds his place at the stool he unofficially owns as the barmaid prepares his order without asking what it is. He was already there when my husband and I arrived, but I would bet that is a pretty accurate scenario. To put it simply, he was an obvious, harmless regular.
Our dining entertainment was the friendly banter between the two. And that night’s topic… a seasoned member of society’s theory behind what’s wrong with the world today. In the opposite corner, an equally passionate individual defending the world, for there is so much of it still ahead of her. She tried to explain that the “evil” internet is the reason she is still able to pursue a degree while working the long hours required to get by. He countered with memories of conversations without screens and the set of encyclopedias he’s proud to still use. Both had valid points. He preached. She poured. They both smiled the whole time.
It was hard not to eavesdrop. At first, I tried really hard not to. But, then it happened…the patron turned friend referred to the world’s lost piece as appreciation. My ears perked like a puppy and I turned to face him. After what I hoped was his last sip of the day, he sat his empty glass down and said: “You can’t smell Google.” The glass was retrieved with the promise to see him soon.
The routine visit and opportunity to give another lecture probably made his day. The hour or two with her mind off the daily grind may have made hers as well. Stumbling upon this beautiful relationship most certainly made mine.
My son gave me a flower on the eve of his graduation. That night, I placed my nose to a pedal and slowly inhaled. You are so right, friendly stranger. You can’t smell Google.
YOU are a treasure!
My house is full of character. I am not talking about my collection of Disney figurines. I am referring to those distinguishing qualities that make things unique. You know, that scratch, that dent, that crayon drawing on the wall. These are traits that are often called flaws.
Let me tell you the story of our first piece of furniture that did not come from a curb on garbage night. I chuckle knowing that I once thought that buying a new oak dresser for an elementary-aged boy was a good idea. That dresser got character before it’s first coat of pledge. It’s still there today…a five-pointed star with two eyes and mouth smiling from ear to ear (if stars actually have ears.) Boy, was I angry at this unexpected introduction. I did not care if it was a star. I did not care if it was smiling. I did not care if this was my son rebelling or marking his territory. I was angry.
The inability to afford another dresser kept me from discarding it. The lack of time and energy kept me from buffing it out. My friends, as I share these words, I am just weeks away from my carving artist being on his own. I promise you that I am going to look at that star and finally give it the returned smile it’s been waiting for.
The moral here is that we all have imperfections, some on the surface and some beneath. Think long and hard before deciding to change or discard. People will still love you with that blemish or scar. People will still visit if there are weeds in your garden or dust on your shelves.
By the way, just because I upgraded to Craigslist doesn’t mean I stopped my treasure hunt. I have projects waiting that were inspired by things another person no longer had use for. There is accomplishment, quality time and beauty in my future. It is true that one man’s trash could be another man’s treasure. Share with me yours! What do you currently have that didn’t shine the same way for another?
YOU are a treasure!