Head nods and peace signs

This summer began with my feet dangling from a tail gate counting head nods and peace signs. Let me set the record straight about us Deadheads. Some enhance. Some escape. Some do both. Now, let me set the record straight about everyone. Differences in choices or lifestyles are not reasons to be a jerk.

In junior high I was a member of the show choir. I did not try out for personal growth or to showcase a talent. I just wanted to be a part of something. You see, once upon a time acceptance was connected to adequacy. Once upon a time I allowed someone else to decide if I could sing and dance with others.

Oh, how time uncovers treasures in the form of mature perception and truth. Let me set the record straight about the self I’ve never understood more clearly. Today, the person accepting is me. I accept my words, my actions and my imperfections. I accept that some of my traits are a condition…not a personality. I accept the fact that not everyone gets it.

And now I dance on grass and not a stage. My audition requires nothing but a good mood and the choreography is easy…head nods and peace signs.

Dance with me, friends. YOU are a treasure!

Nature’s Orchestra

Most of us have experienced what I’ll call “random red light entertainment.” In other words, you’ve chuckled at the headbanger, the steering wheel pounder, and the “like no one is watching” singer.  My friends, I am all three. And whether you’ve seen my performances in person or just smirked at the visual, you’re welcome….that second of distraction was a treasure.

One day, the consequences of playing my music too loud may surface.  But, I am not going to ignore my need for a screaming guitar anytime soon. That sound dissolves sadness, worry, and stress. From the twelve minute drive to work to the all day cleaning spree, music is my drug.

When I am alone and in control, I avoid silence at all costs. Peaceful environments are not appealing. They are open doors that welcome stupid thoughts. I work non stop and clean things that already shine because of an illness I hate, not because I strive to be better than anyone.

I am slowly working on my ability to hide it. In doing so, I often find myself secretly scared when those around me are not. Please remember I am not a bragger or a hypocrite. In fact, I still fail more than I succeed when it comes to remembering my mission. However, when I do stop, look and appreciate, the world becomes somewhere I want to be.

A recent mini-vacation brought me to one of the most peaceful places that I am willing to travel by car. Because I packed my mental ammo, I was able to turn crickets into cymbals, a crackling fire into slaps of a bass, and a friends laughter into some of the most beautiful lyrics I have ever heard.

To my fellow professional depression hiders, you are right. This trip was far from tear-drop free. But,  guess what? I did not let it control the memories of those that deserved to be there, most importantly, me! Indeed, there is proof to my grandpa’s words “practice makes perfect.”

Please remember that whether your enemy is silence, chaos or something else, you are not alone. Close your eyes. Bring the band back together.

YOU are a treasure!